You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
