I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
