i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
