im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
