Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
