She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
