I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
