I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
