stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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