Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
