If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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