I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
