dude i'm inner monologue high
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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