what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
