dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
