My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
