That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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