screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
