covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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