so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
