its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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