Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
