I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
