Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
