did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
