she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
