"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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