i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
