If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
