whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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