SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
