You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
