Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
