they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
