I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
