Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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