we're blogging at a bar
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
