I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
