I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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