My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
