She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
