im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
