I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
