You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
