It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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