i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
