maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
