i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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