She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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