I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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