My first STD was from a foam party
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
