I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
