butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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