Porn is love you can see.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
